Monday, July 30, 2012

Author Guest Post: Jeff Strand

Stopping in today is Jeff Strand, author of A Bad Day for Voodoo, with a hilarious guest post all about How To Read A Bad Day For Voodoo While Doing A Hostage Negotiation.

It's going to happen to a bunch of you. You'll be sitting on the couch with your brand new copy of A Bad Day For Voodoo. You've got a glass of cold milk and a plate of chocolate chip cookies that you've baked just for this special occasion. You open the book, giggle with anticipation, and prepare yourself to enjoy the very first word on the very first page...and then you get called in to negotiation a hostage situation. Aw, bummer!

Well, your afternoon won't be a total waste, because if you follow the below pieces of advice, you can do both! That's right, you can read the book and save innocent lives!

1. Purchase a customized bulletproof book sleeve. If the bullets start flying, one or more of them could puncture your book and obscure important words. And let's face it, there's nothing worse than reading "And then his [Unreadable Due To Bullet Hole] exploded!" and not knowing what exploded! If you can't afford a special book sleeve, just cut a book-sized piece out of your bulletproof vest.

2. Don't let your boss see what you're reading. Your boss knows that you're a loose cannon who plays by his own rules, but that doesn't mean he won't get mad if he sees you reading on the job. That's why, for the low price of $39.99, your copy of A Bad Day For Voodoo can include a special cover attachment that reads Hostage Negotiation 101.

3. Share really funny parts with the captors. When one of the bad guys tells you that you've got thirty seconds to comply with their demands before they start shooting hostages, people are going to be tense. But nothing diffuses tension like a good laugh. Pick up that megaphone, read a paragraph or two, and watch those murderous frowns turn into smiles!

4. Remember that, in the long run, human lives are more important than A Bad Day For Voodoo. In a worst-case scenario, you may actually have to put the book down and actively try to talk the villains out of killing people. In that happens, just take a deep breath, wipe away a tear, and remember that you can still read the book when you get home. It's a pretty good book, but let's not get carried away.

So there you guys go. You know, just in case you find yourself in a hostage situation (but I love all my readers, so I really hope that doesn't happen.)

A Bad Day for Voodoo is out now, so definitely check it out!

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