You guys all know how much I love interviewing characters, so I'm delighted to have Andrew here today! Andrew is Felton's little brother, who's the main character in Geoff Herbach's hysterical debut Stupid Fast. Check out the interview, get to know Andrew, get a taste of the laughs in this book, and then stick around for your chance to win a copy of Stupid Fast!
It wasn’t easy, so it was not fun. I had to work hard. Now, I still wouldn’t say it is fun, but I do like to know that I’m very good at it and so I try to play music that challenges me so that I know I’m better than an ape. That’s most important to me, that I am not an ape. Or a monkey. Or a dog. I like animals and they are nice, but I don’t want to wander around without my clothes and I don’t like how animals smell, so I don’t want to go around believing I’m supposed to stick my nose in their bottoms, like dogs do. That’s ridiculous.
What's your biggest pet peeve about your brother?
He calls me crazy sometimes. Me? I’m crazy? That’s about as dumb a thing as I’ve ever heard. He chooses to pretend nothing is wrong. I choose to look at what’s wrong and dive in and fix it. His problems will last forever. My problems will hurt for a little very badly then I’ll be free of them. Who is crazy?
If you could spend a day with anyone, who would you pick?
I would pick Glenn Gould who I believe to be the greatest interpreter of Bach ever. He is dead, however. He liked drugs and he also liked to sweat and sing. I don’t like either. I would also like to spend a day with Crocodile Dundee. I like his leather vest. I also like his knife, which is big, and would serve me well if I’m doing some gardening for Jerri.
What do you think of your brother kissing Aleah?
What do you mean? I suppose it’s fine. I would like Aleah to be my sister, so I hope they get married, but I don’t believe there’s much chance, because Felton really knows nothing about what Aleah does, which will become a barrier. Maybe I should help Felton learn about good music? Felton likes theme music from TV shows. He also likes some music from the 80s and 90s, but only because Dad did. I saw Felton get tears in his eyes from the theme song to The Office.
What kind of cake would you desecribe yourself as?
That’s a good question. Have you ever had that red cake that has white frosting? It’s a Waldo Cake or something like that. Red and white. I went to my friend Emily’s house one time and her mom made that cake. She said don’t worry if you think you’re bleeding from your bottom tomorrow, because you’re not. It’s just food coloring. Cake doesn’t occur red in nature. It has to be dyed. I forgot about her warning about the food coloring and I made Jerri come into the bathroom and then she took me to the emergency room. I would like to believe I could make someone that terrified.
Thank you, Andrew, for those fun answers, and that has to be the most creative answer to my cake question yet!
Make sure you guys all check out Stupid Fast, out June 1!
But for your chance to win a copy of the book, just fill out THIS form!
Contest is US/Canada only, and ends June 6.